Ellie's Corner of the Internet

How are you doing? Is your baseline stress? Mine is! I always tell this story about how I was in high school that my internal monologue was just different levels of screaming and I sort of feel that it's heading back there.  My day has started off pretty rough, it started off with getting out of bed with how it usually does. It was exceptionally easy to try to rationalize staying in the warm embrace of my best friend bed. I've been struggling with exhaustion recently so the sheer weight of getting up felt nearly impossible. And then my cat puked 2-3 times on the carpet and then they broke one of our statues and then the internet broke and then my computer decided it wasn't having a good time and I had to quickly improvise because I got booted from my Zoom meeting with my group but this was the only hour we were all able to meet this week. Anyways, it was a bad time. Which brings me to gears. Everyone is a gear and before you say "Now Ellie, I don't need ANOTHER a...

What is your self identity? What's the first thing that comes to mind? Probably your name right? But what if you don't identify with your name? Before you ask, this isn't some deep stuff and I'm not telling you I'm getting a penis. Genitals are weird and I don't need more things to worry about. No, what if you didn't feel that your name represented who you are and who you want to become? I have been identifying as a modified version of my name for years now: ELLIE After all, it is my corner of the internet here. But when I fill out a form or go to an appointment, that is not my legal name, I get called something else there. But I feel this weird sort of disconnect to my other name, I don't feel like it represents who I am and who I want to be. As for my last names (yes I have 2), they're both substantially long and when you put them together makes my full last name stupidly long. My last names are my mothers maiden name connected with a little hyph...

Guys, don't get a kitten . If I only ever offer one useful piece of advice, it's to get a cat that is at least a year old. At least. Did you know that cats can and will train humans? Yeah, and you won't even be aware of it.  I am in the process of trying to untrain myself and by extension, my cat. Let me preface this by saying that I love my cats, I really do. But sometimes she makes me want to punch myself in the face as hard as I can. The other one, he's a perfect lil angel.  All joking aside, there is no learning with cats. There is: I can do this when my humans are around! And there is: I should not do this when my humans are around. And the final (and most annoying) category is: I'm going to do this when my humans are around even though I shouldn't to prove a goddamn point. Cats are assholes.  When I wrote the first 3 sentences (important side note: I started this post when trying to untrain said cat and got 3 sentences in until I had to spend 4 hours fro...