It's 5 AM and I hate kittens....

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Guys, don't get a kitten. If I only ever offer one useful piece of advice, it's to get a cat that is at least a year old. At least.

Did you know that cats can and will train humans? Yeah, and you won't even be aware of it. 

I am in the process of trying to untrain myself and by extension, my cat.

Let me preface this by saying that I love my cats, I really do. But sometimes she makes me want to punch myself in the face as hard as I can. The other one, he's a perfect lil angel. 

All joking aside, there is no learning with cats. There is: I can do this when my humans are around! And there is: I should not do this when my humans are around. And the final (and most annoying) category is: I'm going to do this when my humans are around even though I shouldn't to prove a goddamn point. Cats are assholes. 

When I wrote the first 3 sentences (important side note: I started this post when trying to untrain said cat and got 3 sentences in until I had to spend 4 hours from stopping her from breaking all of my nice things and I am just now finishing it) of this post, I was angry because I was tired. And then I slept. And then she purred a little bit. And now I am less angry. More than once this kitten has frustrated me to tears. It has happened numerous times. I go through bouts of absolutely despising her and wanting nothing to do with her, does it mean I don't love her? No. Does it mean that I sometimes wish she would stop fucking playing with a spring because she knows the noise bothers me more than anything in the entire world? Yes.

If you don't want kids, I would recommend you do not get a kitten. She is the worst and the best and the worst part about this is that she is just a colossal fucking idiot. 

Don't get a kitten folks (but do if self torture is like your thing or whatever...) 

-Ellie



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